Well, it just figured, Charleen's nowhere around, let alone with her camera, and what do I come across but Big Foot.

At first, I thought he was cousin Denny on my daddy's side; Denny's known to go without trimming or shaving (or washing). It got obvious real quick that this guy had less hair (and smelled better).

"Hey, Charleen's been looking for you! You avoiding her or something?"

He grunted and edged up closer to me.

"You know they make shoes in your size." His feet couldn't be any bigger than Shaq's.

He pointed at mine. My feet and ankles had been swelling like terrible since my second trimester and I didn't see no point to footwear.

"Point taken, but mine are prettier than yours." I swung my leg up to show off my rosy-pink toe nail polish. It didn't impress him much.

This time the grunting seemed to make some sense.

I knew what it was, I could understand him because of the dohickey thing that alien guy had stuck in my ear. I'd gotten rather adept at foreign languages lately, not that it did me any good.

Seems the bigfoot guy was looking for Elvis cause he kept asking for the king.

I had to tell him that Elvis had died in 1977. That about broke his heart, poor guy. Granny Hobbs is still in mourning herself, so I just patted his shoulder some, like I do Granny.

"I know what'll cheer you up! Let's go trick or treating!"

It took some doing, but I finally got him to wear the gorilla mask.

With Wal-Mart bags for all of us, we headed for town. We got stared at a lot, but I figured nobody had seen a pregnant Powder Puff Girl before.

Once we got started ringing doorbells, none of them wanted to give Junior any candy seeing how he wasn't born just yet. I made up for it by demanding extra when they wanted to take our picture. I made them give us the good stuff too, none of those Smarties or Sweet Tarts.

It was on the way home that I discovered that Big Foot hadn't been asking for the KING at all. He had been wanting his KIN. Maybe that dohickey thing needed new batteries.

"Oh, last I heard tell of folk like you, they were up in the Washington state."

He took off like the flag had just been dropped at Daytona.

Of course, later, I had some explaining to do to Charleen. I hadn't been trying to steal her thunder at all. Besides the papers got it all wrong. Big Foot don't have no monkey head and I ain't pregnant by that alien guy.

Everybody knows that my boyfriend, Little John is deathly allergic to latex.

In the end, I had to give Charleen all of my Reese's cups and promise to show her where that unicorn has been eating Granny Lake's goose beans. Seemed like the thing to do, but you just don't never know. I think Junior's got a thing for Reese's. I keep craving those ones in the shell.