“There is a serial killer living next door” Fred had tried to explain.

“What” His half asleep wife Hilda replied.

“I said there is a serial killer living next door.”

“Go back to sleep” Hilda had whined revealing her distinct lack of teeth as she scowled at him.

“You are bloody hopeless!” She had added entirely for good measure.

Fred, had looked at the digital clock- 3:03 it proudly flashed.

Putting on his dressing down he had slowly meandered downstairs and poured himself a tall glass milk and longingly takes a gulp.

“nowt beats the taste of cold milk,” he had thought as he finishes the last of it.

It was then he notices it his neighbors light on.

“He’s up to something” he had pondered before he had returned to bed, and to Hilda’s obnoxious continual snoring.

He had laid there for a moment examining his wife staring at the large mole upon her chin, he had tried to count how many hairs were forcing themselves free from it.

“27 years sleeping next to her.” He had moaned under his breath as he drifted back off to slumber…

The following night Fred had suddenly awoken again.

As he always did he stared at the clock. 2:52.

“I am going to catch him! ” He suddenly tried to explain. Surprised at the sudden adrenalin which was now racing through his system.

Hilda had sat upright..

“what” she sneered. Her piggy eyes condemning him in addition to her screeching voice.

“You couldn’t catch a cold-bloody useless you are.”

She then had returned her chubby red bloated face to her pillow and quickly resumed snoring.

Fred got up and once more donned his dressing gown. As he was finishing his nightly glass of milk he saw that his neighbors the neighbors light was once more on.

Fred suddenly felt peculiarly empowered and marches out of this front door surprised at his own vigor. He swaggers up to his neighbors door and pounds it.

“I know what your doing!!” he had hollered

The light was quickly extinguished..

But Fred was undeterred rapping even harder on the door and yelled.

“If you don’t open the door right now I am calling the police.”

This did the trick as within a few moments the door opened. Revealing his neighbor standing there in a long white overcoat and rubber gloves. Red stains liberally adorned his outfit.

The two men simply looked at each other… Fred proceeded by pushing through into the kitchen his neighbor at his heels.

He saw it sitting on the counter, big silver and impressive, an industrial sausage machine. Right next to the wonderful contraption it he saw what looked like the remains of a human left foot.

Fred had spoken first.

“I have got a proposition for you..” he had whispered leaning into his neighbor.

One week later Fred awoke….He looked at the clock. 9:00.

He peered at the empty space beside him and grins.

“I’ll think I’ll have sausages again for breakfast…”