There's NO Place Like Zone

by Joseth Moore © 2003

"...I told you, Chris; we needed more gas!"

"Look, if you don't like it you can just get out and walk to Chicago, Kevin!"

Kevin looked at his co-worker with a satirical mask for a face. "Chris, we're out of gas, Dude. Now we have to walk there!"

The two 20-somethings were agents for an advertising firm in Manhattan, New York called N-Grove. N-Grove was courting a major clothing company in Chicago and needed a couple of their employees to go out there to win the contract. Kevin Lotsworth and Chris Maddison were the chosen victims. Due to the slagging national economy, N-Grove's executives thought the corporation could save money by the two young men renting a car and driving out to Chicago instead of flying them there. After all, the East Coast is not that far from Chicago.

The only problem, now, was that Chris and Kevin had to take some unexpected turns on the interstate due to construction zones and just plain getting lost! Which, of course, meant that more of their gas was expended than they budgeted for. They had just a few more hours before they had to get to Chicago on time for the meeting, and they were just now entering right in the center of no-where Ohio...

"How long has it been since we past the last gas station," Kevin questioned nervously. He was now surveying the bleak landscape that enveloped them and their silver, four-door car. Behind them, Kevin could see the signs of dawn splashing reddish light on the few trees that were in that part of Ohio.

"Probably two hours ago," Chris answered him dryly.

For a long while, neither Chris or Kevin said a peep. Truth was they were both scared out of their wits! Both had lived in New York all their lives, and when they did go on trips it was usually to other big cities...this, this was something that neither realized still existed in America in the early 21st century: nature! They never realized just how dark the night-side of Earth really is when you're not around city lights.

Chris finally got out of the driver seat and popped open the trunk of the car to get his flashlight. Kevin retrieved the map from the floor and also got out of the car. Kevin then spread out the map on top of the car's hood so they could read it.

"What's the closest town or city from here," Chris wondered aloud.

"Hmm...Cleveland is way too far north to even talk about, and Columbus is almost as far south..."

Chris clicked his tongue while he thought for a while. He then quickly reached into the car and whipped out his cell phone and a thick book that was a national directory of cities and towns. Chris preceded to punch in an emergency phone number. But when he put the phone up to his ear he heard what sounded like to him a man's voice that sounded like he was standing a distance from his phone.

"What's wrong," Kevin inquired, noticing the strain in Chris's face. Chris listened for a few more seconds before handing the cell phone to Kevin.

"?E NETEHA WHOST?" is what came from the phone.

"What in the world?..." was all that Kevin could come up with. He listened some more.

"?TP, E NETEHA WHOST? QE VIN WHOST UNMU..." The voice rambled on for a little while before, whoever it was, hung up.

Both of the ad agents peered at one another, each with a conflicting face; half with confoundment, half with fear.

"Say, Chris," Kevin mustered up, "you know how in certain parts of Pennsylvania the Amish folk still speak German, right?"

"I know where you're going, Kev. But I don't think that was German."

"Yeah, I know...I mean, maybe around these parts in the U.S. it's some kind of language still being spoken."

Chris referred to the map again. "Tucker, Ohio." Kevin looked at him inquisitively. Chris explained. "Apparently that's the closest village to us. It looks to be about 20 miles north of us."

"Yeah, but usually the names of small towns that still speak their motherland language tend to reflect the country of origin. Tucker just sounds too Anglo for whatever language that was!"

"Well," Chris said with a sigh, "whatever ethnicity that town is doesn't matter."

"Why do you say that," Kevin demanded of Chris.

"Because the emergency number I called should have been from the Columbus area."

That caused Kevin to freeze inside. Now his apprehension was becoming visible. "Dude, let's get the freak out of here!"

"How, Kevin? Hello; no gas in the car!"

"Well, then...let's hitchhike! Something aint right here, man!" It was still pretty early in the day, so there weren't too many other vehicles around to flag down. They had to wait for another ten minutes before they saw a pair of headlights passing by on the newly constructed highway. By then, light was beginning to coat the sky above.

The car they waved down was a sundry box car; a rust-colored red, two-door box car. The license plate of the car was of California. An older couple were inside and were quite amiable to Kevin and Chris.

"...we'll be more than glad to give you 20 bucks for dropping us off at the nearest gas station," Chris charmed the couple.

"Oh, no," the wife said with a smile in the passenger seat, "that won't be necessary--"

"Chris," Chris finished for her.

"Chris!" She said with enthusiasm.

"And I'm Kevin."

"Great to meet you," the husband said. "I'm Greg and this is--" The older gentleman was interrupted by the sound of his own cell phone ringing. "Excuse me, young men. I'd better get it. We're expecting a call from our daughter. We were just visiting her and her family."

"Janet is my name," the wife finally said.

Chris and Kevin were just about to open the doors on either side of the car to climb into the back seats, until--

"?E JIAA NEQ VIM, ETTIM?"

Janet's smile subsided a tiny bit. "Is there anything wrong, Chris and Kevin?"

Both simply backed away from the car without exchanging a word. Janet looked over to her husband and flinched with understanding. "Oh! Greg's just talking to our daughter. They, um...they live in a secluded town. You wouldn't know the language."

"Let me guess," Kevin ventured, "Tucker."

With her husband still jabbering away, Janet frowned at Kevin's words. "Tucker?...Kevin, my husband and I have traveled here many a times to see our daughter; we've never heard of a Tucker, Nevada."

With their eyes glowing, Kevin and Chris glanced at each other then back at Janet.

"Why? Where did you boys think you were?"

"We, we..." Chris tried tried to explain. "We were coming from New York! Our jobs--"

"New York," Janet said with laughter.

"Yeah!" Now Kevin came in the conversation. "Our car ran out of gas 20 miles south of Tucker, Ohio...See!"

He showed her the map. At first Janet's face was full of concentration on the map, which quickly gave way to that smile of her's. She picked up the map and leaned over the car's door to show the two young men.

"You see that town," she asked as she drew a circle around it on the map. "That's where our daughter lives. I think you two got it mixed up with this Tucker town of yours."

Chris gasped!

"What?...What about it, Chris," Kevin beckoned.

"Kev, I told you some time ago that my father served in the military."

"Yeah; so what?"

"What I did not tell you was what he did...he worked in a secret military base; he showed me where it was on the map one day..."

With impatience, Kevin rudely snatched the map from Janet and looked for himself. "Area 51!"

By now, Greg was off the phone and was now looking at the two young men. "Area 51...What is that; a town or something?"

x x x




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