Think Mrs. Peel could beat up Steed? How about Honey West?

THE AVENGER

by L. C. Cruell © 2003

“Welcome back folks. We hope you enjoyed those words from Real Adventure Family Fun Park, one of our proud sponsors here on CPTV--which, by the way, was rated #5 out of the 497 basic cable channels in the latest viewer popularity poll. Thanks guys, we couldn’t have done it without you! Really!”

“OK, we’re back now. You’re here live with me, Dan Kirkpatrick, and my co-host Frank ‘Bad Boy’ Llewellyn.”

“Uh, thanks Dan. Yes, it’s a beautiful night here live at H. Stern Memorial Auditorium. As usual the crowd is packed to capacity and it’s standing room only.”

“As a matter of fact Frank, if you listen you can almost hear the buzzing current of excitement flowing through the crowd as they await tonight’s main event.”

“I tell you the suspense is almost palpable. But I’ve just gotten word that tonight’s Guest is just leaving Preparations and will soon be on his way upstairs and as you can see they’re finishing the stage checks and seating the visitors’ box now so we shouldn’t have long to wait!”

“Now in the first half of the show, of course, we gave you the Guest’s history and the background story in the opening dramatization. For those of you who missed it, we are now running a brief written synopsis across the bottom of the screen. But let me tell you if you tuned in late you not only missed an amazing film but a special appearance by actress Kana Raven.”

“She’s an Oscar contender this year isn’t she?”

“Yes, yes, I believe she is and she definitely gave another award-winning performance tonight.”

“Now, Dan, about tonight’s main event…”

“Ahuh.”

“Is it true that they’ve recovered 3 chips!”

“Yes they have! It’s rather remarkable because of the unfortunate recent trend of destroying the chips after with fire. But although that was attempted in this case, the last two were some of the new SJX--like the one magnified here, encased in its little flame and heat resistant shell. So, the third and fourth were recovered and the first, of course, was removed intact.”

“Fascinating. Now in cases like this they usually are able to link the chips together and their combined output multiplies to produce such an incredible effect that hardly any amplification is necessary at all.”

“Ahhh! Yes ladies and gentlemen, you can tell by that music that it’s time for the main event. The forward sections of the audience are on their feet and the rest are glued to their giant-screen monitors. The seat lights are dimming, the stage lights are off, and the stagehands are disappearing into the shadows. And we wait now watching the Portal framed in the last remaining spotlight and . . . “

“There he is! Tonight’s Guest has arrived! An interesting looking man, he seems pretty confident, self-assured. He is now being escorted to the Podium where we may hear a few words from him.”

“Is there anything that you would like to say to the viewers at home, Mr. Grissam?”

“Bastards.”

“Well . . . that seems to be it. Quite a poet, eh Frank?”

“Ohhh, definitely a man of few words Dan.”

“You know it always amazes me Frank how no matter what they’ve heard, what they’ve seen, when the time comes they seem so sure. I mean look at this guy! He’s a picture of steeled self-confidence. The cocky stride, that devil-may-care grin. He’s sure he can beat it.”

“Yeah, they’re all so sure until. . .”

“Wait here it comes. He’s reached the end of the runway. A hush falls over the crowd annnd . . . now!”

“Yep. The stage lights jump on, the crowd goes wild, and our Guest gets his first look at . . . whoah just look at the color drain outta his face . . .”

“Yeah and it seems to be taking that grin with it. Works every time.”

“I love that Dan.”

“I know you do Frank. You’re a sick little man.”

“Thanks ever so much.”

“You’re ever so welcome. Well he seems to have steeled himself up again, looks ready.”

“He’s being led up to the stage and . . . what?! . . . oh my God he’s making a break for it! He just knocked down the escorts and he’s headed for the audience and . . . wait there’s some kinda struggle goin’ on down there! I’m not sure what’s . . .”

“Look Dan! I think they got him!”

“Wait . . . yeah, you’re right. Whew! That was a close one!”

“Ain’t that just the way. An entire year without any major incidents and we almost have a horror show on the week before our 100th episode. And that reminds me, don’t forget our big two hour special 100th show extravaganza next week at Madison Square Garden.”

“Yes, we’re going to have a lot of surprises for you next week including a celebrity announcer that will join us here in the box, special star cameo appearances throughout the show, interviews by some of today’s best and brightest, and one or two surprise Guests that I’m sure you’ve heard about but were probably not expecting see on our little show. That’s next Thursday at 9!”

“Well, it looks like everything’s under control down there now.”

“Yeah, they’ve brought out an extra circle of Protectors around the stage. Our Guest is ready now.”

“OK, here we go!”

“They’re double checking his Virtual Reality suit.”

“Now they’re fastening him into the apparatus.”

“The music’s building in the background.”

“They’re double-checking the straps. You know when the action gets going that thing can really spin.”

“They’re on the edge of their seats, but for the music you could almost hear a pin drop in the aisles.”

“Uh…huh.”

“The goggles are on and he’s ready to go!”

“They’re powered up. The monitors have gone to split screen with the computer on Vid-2.”

“We’re ready!”

“And remember if those of you at home have any kids that you want to shield from reality you can black-out screen 2 by selecting Par-Bloc on your master remote.”

“This week we have one Starter, a volunteer, who has just entered the booth.”

“I know she isn’t one of the first three.”

“Nope. Mother of the fourth.”

“Oh.”

“Well she’s at the controls now. All’s ready and all’s quiet. Listen hard and you can almost hear the crickets.”

“Ready…”

“And…”

“5.”

“4.”

“3.”

“2.”

“1.”

“She’s hit it! The program has begun!”

******

“Hey. Hey. Where am I? Where am I?”

“Don’t you know?”

“Who was that? Where the hell are you? Show yourself!”

“I am here. Behind you. In the shadows.”

“What the hell is going on here! Where the hell am I?”

“Wet, cold, dark and empty. Shadows and whispers, but no eyes, no hands…”

“Where am I?”

“Just a long, silent alley in the dead of night, don’t you remember? Where you hunted her--and where I will hunt you.”

“Remember? But how? Who are you?”

“I am the Avenger.”

“Oh God. That damn game . . .”

“…and I will follow you…”

“The game! It can’t be . . . it seems so…”

“…chase you…”

“…so real.”

“…haunt you just beyond the electrified edges of your reaching senses. I will do as you have done. Run. Run away down the street into the maize of dank, filthy alleys where you tracked the second, down the hill into the rain-soaked, mud-clogged little park…”

“No.”

“…where you stalked the first. Down to the thunderous, crashing waves whose roars drowned the screams of number four. Run faster, faster to keep ahead of me. Your heart will beat, pound, smash as you feel me closing in on you--just behind you always on your heels. Your muscles will throb, your throat will close, and your head will pulse with the rush of ice cold blood. You will grow blind in watery fear and the rivulets of tears will strew back across your face, splattering and draining into your wet, matted hair. And I will always be there, hounding you, engulfing you, swallowing you alive from the shadows, filling your mind with fires of dread and horror and pain. I will drive myself into your soul and shred you apart from the inside out! I am the Avenger!”

“No. This isn't happening to me! It can't be happening to me! Turn it off! Turn it off! What’s that? Where are you? Please God! No! No, I’m sorry, oh God, I’m so sorry!”

*****

“Wow what a show!”

“Listen to that crowd! They sure got their money’s worth! That was one of the best events I’ve ever seen!”

“7 minutes, 35 seconds! Amazing! That’s just 15 seconds short of the all-time record Dan!”

“Did you see that Gyro whirl? It was practically out of control. And check the damage! Sensor suit: ripped, goggles: thrown clear, although by that time he was so far under the program that the neural implants were enough anyway. Remember that glazed look in his eyes? His right arm strap was torn free and it looks like he took half the flesh off his wrist in the process.”

“The medical examiner is checking him out now and . . . yes, the game is officially over! Vengeance is ours!”

“Naturally. Official cause of death?”

“Incredible. Apparently his heart literally exploded!”

“Well that would explain the blood, not to mention those shuddering jerky contortions he managed to twist himself through.”

“Intense. But, you know, what I wanna know is who was that woman?”

“Which woman?”

“Look I’ll show you. Run the tape back, will ya Hal? OK, now look--right there in the audience, just behind the visitors’ box. There, you see, that woman in red, trembling, with the scar on her lip! She stood up right after the mother of the fourth threw the switch. The rest of the section didn’t stand until the action really heated up a minute or so into the program. Now, fast forward, Hal. See! She’s standing there the whole time. Then, as soon as it's over, she vanishes.”

“Well I’ve seen this kinda thing a couple of times before you joined us. Sometimes, especially in the case of multiples, there are surviving victims that don’t want to come forward but feel inexorably drawn here to the final event, to see it with their own eyes. You notice she stood right behind the visitors’ box where the survivors and family members always are. Well, usually survivors. Sometimes, accomplices.”

“It’s a first for me. Pretty creepy.”

“Let me just take a second here to answer tonight’s trivia question while you folks at home watch the Avenger’s victory program on the screen. Here it is: When did the G-7 chip first go into mass production? Whadaya think Franky Boy?”

“Don’t know Dan.”

“Well it originally went into limited release around the turn of the century. In those days, it was used mainly as a tracking device to keep an eye on known criminals in and out of prison. As crime got more and more out of control, they got implanted in nearly everyone at 2 years of age--in case of abduction or disappearance. Harmless. Embedded in a different location in each person’s brain, and only removable by laser surgery, they were perfect. Then, the engineers discovered that they could incorporate neural implant and virtual imaging technology into the chips so that they could actually record a user’s experiences and use them later to, among other things, bring criminals to trial. But of course by then it was usually too late--at least for the user. It was only after the Dark Years that the provisional government gave the green light to start using the data recorded on a victim’s chip in criminal executions.”

“Let the punishment fit the crime, eh Dan?”

“That’s the idea.”

“And so our little show was born. And, as you can tell from the numbers, televising it all has proven to be one hell of a deterrent.”

“Well the victory program is ending, our Guest has been removed from the stage and the crowd is dispersing. So that’s about it for us on Crime and Punishment TV. Don’t forget next week’s two hour special 100th episode of ‘The Avenger’. The lead-in event will be a surgeon convicted of 5 counts of fatal malpractice, so brace yourself for a pretty graphic little opener, but the rest is all top secret so my lips are sealed. Until next week this is Dan Kirkpatrick. ”

“And this is Frank ‘good to his mother’ Llewellyn, signing off. And remember for the first time in history true justice is done . . . here only on CPTV!”

“Stay tuned for your local news after these messages.”

x x x

With the recent trend toward Reality TV, can a program like this one be long in coming? Let's hope so--or perhaps not. What do you think?




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