I didn't mean to do it; she made me do it. It was inevitable. It wasn't just her fault either; the mailman played a role. I never in a million years pictured it like this but it's how it had to be. I didn't mean to bring the cattle in early. It was getting dark and I was hungry. I walked in the door expecting to see dinner on the table. I saw you and the mailman on the table instead. In my house. In my kitchen. On my table. I didn't mean to get upset, but I found it hard not to. I was silent as the mailman struggled to put his uniform back on. But you, you just sat there smoking your damn cigarettes. I didn't mean to lose my temper. I went outside to get some air. With my fists clenched as I walked to the barn. I paused, then opened the door. I didn't mean to bring the ax back with me as I left the barn, but I had to. By the time I got back to the house the mailman had finished putting his clothes on and was getting ready to leave. He didn't know I was behind the door. I didn t mean to hurt the mailman, but the Ax had a different intention. It stuck him once, solidly, in the head. I wanted to stop, but It wouldn't let me. I didn't mean to put him in the beef grinder. His eyes hung by veins. The eye stared at me until it met the cold metal blades. I think the cows enjoyed him. I didn't mean to come after you next, but you left me little recourse. I figured some horse tranquilizer and my revolver would serve you best. You wouldn't feel a thing. I didn't mean to stick the needle in your neck, but you didn't seem to care; you just fell asleep. Figured the pillow between the gun and you would keep things quiet, stop the splatter. Didn't mean to cry as I rolled your body up in the bed sheets. I picked you up and began to walk. I didn't mean to let your blood stain the carpet as I carried you out to the barn. You kept dripping. I still haven't cleaned it up. I didn't mean to tie those big stones to your body. The pond behind the barn was perfect. Even during a drought you'd never surface. I didn't mean for it to end up this way, but this is what was meant to be.
x x x