What did the director say at the end of "The Mummy Returns"?

Curse of the Mummy

by Stephen D. Rogers © 2002

Honest, we never wanted anyone to get hurt. We were just, you know, fooling around.

We were the outsiders. Alexis made people nervous with her intuition. David was a certified genius. I was your basic loser. People called us the Three Mooseketeers and I suppose it was that name that held us together as much as anything else. We may have been a group of oddballs but at least we were a group.

Now Alexis and David are dead.

Who would have expected me to be the only one to survive this thing? I was the first person in the history of Augusta High to fail shop.

I guess I should start at the beginning.

That night was nothing out of the ordinary, no different from hundreds of others we spent together. We were at my house. I was on the Internet taking a virtual tour at the Museum of Natural History and Alexis was standing next to me making up obscene translations for the hieroglyphics in the Egyptian exhibit. From across the room, David announced that he’d just broken into the museum's computer.

And so what? If we were lucky, he'd turn his lap top so that we could see some screen that he would tell us was payroll data or shipping records or press releases.Don't get me wrong. David was talented but the show got old fast.

"Hey," he said. "Watch this. Look at your monitor."

The museum went dark. Then the lights came back on. Then they went out. Then they came back.

"Are you doing that?"

"Take a wild guess. You know, Egypt is a very dry place. I think it could use a little rain." He tapped some keys.

The sprinklers started up and a part of me hoped that nothing valuable got ruined. David was flashing the lights on and off to simulate a thunderstorm.

It's not every night that you see a thunderstorm inside a museum.

Alexis exploded into giggles. "Right now there's a security guard who wishes he hadn’t smoked dope before his shift."

"You think there's security?" I didn't like to pull stunts that could land me in trouble. I always had difficulty getting out again.

"Sure, some ex-cop, or some kid who couldn't get into police school but still wants to wear a badge and act important." David laughed. "He must be steamed by now. I overrode the environmental controls and it's a shade over a hundred degrees in there."

I could see the glass cases start to fog up, and it looked like the air was getting thick, everything turning fuzzy and a little out of focus.

Getting nervous that we were damaging the exhibits, I suggested we go get something to eat. Then, as I went to shut off my computer, I saw something blur across the screen.

I pointed at the screen. "Did you see that? David, turn off the sprinklers."

Alexis shook her head. "See what? I was thinking about which places might be still open. I could use some fries right about now."

I leaned closer to my monitor. "Out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw someone." Clicking the controls, I switched angles on the room. "I swear I saw motion, all white or gray."

"Maybe it was a steam cloud."

"Maybe you're a steam cloud."

David groaned. "Well I'm not going to find anything with the motion detectors. Our little storm caused some electrical problems and there are red flags all over the security subsystem."

Turning off my computer, I thought about how quickly it had become our storm. David never hogged credit for what he accomplished; the flip side: he shared the blame.

"Let's go eat," he said

Throughout the rest of the night, and just beneath my uneasy sleep, I worried about the damage we might have done. Museums contained rare, irreplaceable items. Maybe the authorities could track us down and maybe they couldn't: that wouldn’t matter as much as the loss we’d caused if we destroyed some priceless artifact.

The next morning I turned on the news while I ate my cereal. The Museum of Natural History made the lead story, some perky anchor putting on her serious face. There were several million dollars in water damage, she said, the museum would be closed for at least a week and two security guards had been found murdered.

Dumping my cereal in the sink, I called David.

"Yes, I've been following the story on the Internet."

"We're going to be in a heap of trouble. Forget the damage, we screwed up the security system. Those guards would still probably be alive if we hadn't done what we did."

"I know, I know. Give me some more time to think. I'll call you back."

Hanging up, I paced the kitchen. We had just been trying to relieve a little boredom. How did we know that someone would choose that moment to gun down two of the guards?

It was just my luck that some passerby noticed a security light was not on and decided to take advantage of the situation. Of course it might just be David's luck that the sprinkler activity was attributed to the killer.

As much as I wanted to turn on the news again, I didn't want to see the families of the dead guards stumbling through the media questions. I didn't want to see the spouses I had made single parents, the children I had orphaned.

Knowing that if I dialed Alexis, David would try to get through to me, I composed apologies to everyone involved. I accepted blame, but stressed the fact that there was no way that we could have foreseen the repercussions.

When the telephone rang, I nearly jumped out of my skin.

"We have a definite problem."

"David, I was hoping for a solution, not a repeat of what I already know."

He sighed. "It's much worse than you know. The two guards were only the beginning."

I dropped into a seat. "What are you talking about?"

"There are at least five other dead."

As bad as that was, it might work in our favor. "It's not our fault if someone goes around shooting people."

"Who's shooting people?"

"Didn't you say five more people were dead?"

"They were strangled, just like the museum guards."

"The guards were strangled? I didn't hear that. Who ever heard of a serial strangler?"

"There have been several but that's beside the point. Since the guards were killed last night, five bodies have been found in a line leading away from the museum."

"That should make it easier for the police." The information was coming too fast for me to process.

"I don't know if they've made the connection yet since the killings are spread over state lines. One person was found in New York, one in Connecticut, two in Massachusetts, and one in New Hampshire."

I laughed, trying to dispel my feelings of dread. "What, is the killer coming up to Maine?"

David didn't join my laughter. "That's what I think. Plot a straight line from the museum to us, and each of the bodies was found within a mile of it."

"You have got to be joking." I realized then that I should have finished my cereal. I needed the fortification of eight minerals and vitamins, needed to find the toy prize of a magic sticker that I could place on myself to ward off evil.

"Look, I know this sounds unbelievable, but I think we released something from the museum."

"Did you today decide to start using drugs?" If humor wasn't the answer, try denial.

"I know, I know. But it was the Egyptian exhibit, new artifacts that had never before been displayed. Maybe we allowed a spirit to escape or activated some curse."

I held the telephone away from my head for a second, looking at it before I answered. "Is this David the Logical I'm talking to? You are high, or you think I am."

"No, I'm just scared. Seven people have been killed during a twelve-hour period over a path of some two-hundred and forty miles. The time and place of each murder plots the killer moving at a steady twenty-miles per hour."

"He's some slow driver."

"He's not driving. The straight line doesn't match roadways for any significant length. He's hoofing it."

"People can't run that fast." At least I didn't think so.

"I know. He's not a person. He's traveling through woods, over mountains, across streams. He doesn't differentiate between open fields and busy towns, he moves at a steady and relentless twenty miles per hour. Now that it's light, more people will see him. More people will die." David was creeping me out.

"What could he want in Maine, fresh baked stuffed lobster?"

"Us. He's coming for us. I tried to call Alexis but she's not home. I figure we have only have a few hours before it arrives."

I flipped back and forth between believing and not believing, between being scared senseless and having a million ideas.

"Let's call the police. Even if they won't protect us, they should be warned what's coming."

"What are they going to do, arrest him? I've researched Egyptian curses, mummies. There doesn't seem to have been one like this before. I sent a mail to the Egyptologists at the museum but the place is closed."

That would be thanks to our little storm. "What if we just hopped on a plane? We could visit Suzie in California. It would take him forever to reach the west coast."

"Three thousand miles traveling twenty miles per hour equals one hundred and fifty hours equals a little over six days."

I was astounded. "Only six days?"

"How many more people would it kill during the trek?"

Shaking my head, I changed the subject. "Look, is it a him or an it? And mummy sounds too much like mommy which makes me think of a her. I know it doesn't matter in the long run but it's distracting me."

David was steady. "I don't know what is coming after us."

"But what do we call it?"

"Okay then, we'll call it him."

"What do they do in the movies?"

"What movies?" Now he was sounding a little exasperated.

"Mummy movies. Just because this is a new experience for us doesn't mean that other people haven't encountered it, written about it, thought about it at least."

There was a pause. "I'll add monster movie plot summaries to my list of research topics. Meanwhile, try to track down Alexis."

"No one answered at her house?" Having something to do made me feel better, a little more in control.

"No one ever does. If she doesn't know what's going on, tell her. If she does know, try to calm her down. I'll call as soon as I get any useful information. Be brave."

"Be smart."

I went out to my car and found an envelope stuck under the windshield wiper. Leaning against the hood, I read the enclosed note.

"I'm freaking out. Don't hate me for just running but I have a really bad feeling about this. I'm going to my uncle in Concord. I'll be in touch. Alexis."

Concord was between the mummy and us. I had to warn Alexis, but I didn't have her uncle's number, didn't even know his full name.

Running back inside, I called David again.

"Alexis bolted, and she went the wrong way."

"Can you reach her?"

"No." She never carried a cell phone, didn't want to be chained to her mom--fetching alcohol when the bottle ran dry.

"Do you know when she left?"

"The note didn't say."

I heard David slam something. "Let me check the news sites."

"Did you find out anything about monster movies?"

His laugh was grim. "I learned that the guilty always die."

"That's usually comforting, but this time we're the guilty."

There was a brief pause, then David swore. I knew what he was going to say before he said it. "Alexis is dead. He caught up to her in Concord and crushed her windpipe."

Just call us the Two Mooseketeers.

"In her note, she said she had a really bad feeling."

"Well this time her intuition led her the wrong way." He swore again. "Listen, I have to go back to the research."

"And just what am I supposed to do?"

"I don't have enough information yet to make a plan. Stay by the phone."

"I'm going to go out of my head if I just sit here."

"If you have a better idea I'd be glad to hear it."

He was just saying that because he didn't think it was possible.

"I'm coming over. That way, when you learn something, we'll be able to react quicker."

"You're not so dumb after all. Look, I have to get back to my research. Come on over as soon as you can."

"I'm there.”

By the time I was, he would probably be certain that my coming over was his idea. I didn't even care, just so long as he came up with an answer.

Alexis was dead. At least seven others were dead. If I was next, I deserved it.

No, I had to believe that David would find us a way out of this mess. I didn't want to die, not ever really, and certainly not now.

My car started on the first attempt, and I stared at the windshield thinking about Alexis leaving the note in the middle of the night. If only she had woken me up, I may have been able to keep her from leaving. She might have had a few more hours of life that way.

As I drove toward David's, I imagined the three of us together, fooling around like the old days, and then the mummy comes through the door and that's that. He's not the slow moving mummy from the old movies, wandering around with his hands outstretched, but quick white death—like that bald guy in the newer flick.

I slammed on the brakes to keep from hitting a stopped car.

Get in control and stay in control. I told myself. I needed to focus, pay attention to what I was doing. If I was killed in a traffic accident, would David think the mummy got me? In the end, would it really make any difference how it happened?

Waving an apology to the driver I'd probably scared into next week, I drove on. At least, I thought, that driver will see next week. I’m not so sure I'll see tomorrow. I turned onto Grant Street.. No. I thought, David will come through with something. Research, process, and regurgitate—that’s his mantra and he’s the best. No problem didn't contain its own solution. No door closed but another door opened. Nobody cares like your mummy

My car radio didn't work and when I pulled onto David's street, I could hear the screams coming from his open window. I hit the gas and tried not to join in.

The mummy wasn't supposed to be here yet. Somehow, David had calculated wrong, just like Alexis had run the wrong way.

What was I doing wrong?

Was it a mistake to run or a mistake to doubt my plan? I was between a rock and a hard place and I didn't even know what that meant.

I wished I had seen more movies about mummies and Egyptian curses. Whipping around a car that was slowing to take a right, I ticked off what little I knew.

Mummies were dead people who had been embalmed and wrapped in long pieces of cloth. There were curses protecting them so that their grave would be undisturbed.

I didn't really have a lot to go on here.

Stakes killed vampires and silver bullets ended the werewolf's torment. How did the mummy movies end?

Why hadn't I watched more television?

Zombies could be decapitated. Zombies were dead, the mummy was dead. Wasn’t that similar enough?

So how did I cut off the head of something that moved five times faster than I did?

Here was I-95 and I was flying down the road, chewing up the miles, pressing the pedal to the metal.

Use its speed against it. String a wire across a doorway and wait on the other side, hope it doesn't duck.

Lead it to a logging camp, channel it toward the giant saw blades.

Convince it to borrow money from the wrong people and then not make the payments.

Call the police. Call the National Guard, the army. Give garrotes to everybody. Let's have us a necktie party.

What chance did three misfits have against something that was unstoppable? What chance did I have alone?

Mom, Dad, you should have bought me that Japanese sword I begged you for--or pushed me into track and field so that I could work on my speed.

Alexis and David, I love you guys.

Suddenly, there was a trooper in my rearview mirror with lights a-flashing. If I didn't run out of gas, the trooper would be on me in about ten seconds.

Gripping the wheel, I glanced ahead and there was the mummy coming right at me.

I punched the accelerator, screaming the theme of The Three Mooseketeers as I connected with the monster, screaming for real when the car lurched out of control.

*****

When I woke up and I was here in the hospital, connected to all these tubes.

Everyone says there was no trace of the mummy, that I lost control and hit a tree.,p /> Everyone’s wrong.

Night is falling and I can feel the hospital winding down.

You think I'm crazy, but I know it's still out there.. . . still out there waiting.

x x x

He said "O. K., everyone, that's a wrap." Get it? It's a mummy movie? That's a wrap?'
O. K. Put the knives down. Comments (for the story, not the pun) to the BBS, please.




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